MeSs

This isn’t the first time I’ve written about this, and I doubt it will be the last. Freelancing has been a journey of discovery for me, not least the free time I allow myself. We all imagine we’ll do great things when we “have the time” and sometimes we do. Sometimes fear gets in the way.

I have noticed that I seem to have imposed a set of rules on myself, and fear has crept back in. The (crazy fear) rules go something like:

  • Good enough isn’t good enough.
  • If you’re not going to “do it properly” don’t do it at all.
  • Other people share these “perfect” things, how can I possibly share my own things? Why do they matter?
  • Your doodles shouldn’t be messy (marvel at that one for a moment!).
  • You shouldn’t write things by hand, they aren’t easy to search or turn into something and they take up space.
  • All writing and drawing must be shared.

These are all insane absolutes, and they aren’t things I have believed all the time. However, they have stopped me doing things. I used to draw on everything. No longer, it must be perfect and it must be all neat and lovely in a Moleskine. I used to make notes all the time, about everything. No longer. It must be digital. It’s been hard to catch myself thinking that way but I’m starting to notice when the thoughts creep in.

What really upsets me is that this is from the person who believes “thinking on paper” is the most important thing ANYONE can do.

So I am defining some new rules.

  • I have permission to be messy.
  • If I want to draw/paint on something, I must.
  • I can make as many notes as I want, about anything that I want.
  • I don’t have to share everything, but it’s ok to share things that are messy and a process. It might help someone, it might help me!
  • If you don’t have time to do it “properly”, do it anyway.
  • Nothing is permanent.
  • These are not absolutes.

I’m quite excited!