It’s 4:30am and I’m awake. All because of a dream.
I’ve always had a strong connection with my dreams. Some people don’t remember, but I do. Whenever I’m really stressed they turn to nightmares. Sometimes if I sleep on my back or it gets too hot I have nightmares.
I’m not sure which of those last two reasons this one was, but I did have a nightmare. One that was so bad I have had to get up and do something else in case going back to sleep brings the nightmare back (as has happened before).
I think this one may have been partly my fault, as it was about the world ending and I watched Seeking a Friend for the End of the World last week. The whole thing felt so real, and so terrifying I almost feel as if I should forego sleep, get out of bed right now and sort my life out.
That’s what I found interesting about that film, the way they all knew how long they had left and what they did with the time. In my dream I just kept thinking “you have twenty minutes left”, but not knowing what to do with it.
Lots of things were on fire and people were driving buses around. It was hot (I was hot in my sleep) and I remember just watching a thermometer going up and up. I remember wishing I hadn’t let myself cook to death, but what are you going to do? I wanted as much of my life as possible.
I don’t know why that film crept back into my head a week later. I do know I’m constantly hard on myself for not living up to this wonderful opportunity we’ve been given, otherwise known as “life”. I think the two have collided in my head and this is the result.
We none of us know how long we have left. I’m not sure if that’s worse or better. But I damn sure know I don’t want to waste it.
I wasn’t expecting that film to have quite such an impact though (pun not intended haha). A lot of people would probably say it was an ok film, but I found myself loving it, even for its imperfections.
It followed me in another way earlier this week, in the form of a song. One I had never before really thought about, but that seemed to attach itself to me right when I needed it. I recognise that it is coincidence, but it is one of those nice coincidences that made things a bit better in an otherwise difficult week.
The Hollies “The Air that I Breathe” was feature in the film. It’s a great song, Radiohead apparently stole the chord progression for Creep which I also love. Aside from that it’s not in my usual style. On the Monday morning it was on my radio alarm that woke me up. Not unusual, it probably had been before, I’d just never had a reason to notice it.
Then it was in the shops when I went into town that same morning. It felt like it was following me, and it allowed me to realise that I liked the song.
I bought it when I got home and have listened to it a lot since. Sometimes coincidences are worth noticing.
To conclude this 4am ramble, I hope you have all slept well! I don’t think the world is actually going to end, but you never know so make this day count. Make every day count.